Cruel
by Rocketleetist
Summary: AU. Should I believe in God? Is he the reason to my suffering? The reason why I'm mourning over the one thing I've loved? Why must God be so cruel? Izaya attempts suicide in hope of figuring out God's existence; but what happens when Izaya actually meets God? And what happens when he loses everything he's ever loved? Will he finally repent? **Currently Discontinued***


Disclaimer:_ I don't own Durarara! Not the characters used in this story. But I do own the story itself; please do not steal my oc nor the stories plot. _  
_Thank you for your corporation! Deeply appreciated!_

**Warning**: There's Mpreg and maybe yaoi in this story! You've been warned ;3

A/N: so I wrote this out during class almost a year ago and never really had the chance to upload it till this day. I wanted it to have a dark storyline/plot; I love Izaya very much and I loved how his character is developed. However, I've always wondered what would happen when Izaya goes to meet God?

_~How would he react? _

_~How would he die?_

_ ~Suicide or natural causes?_

_ ~How will his judgment be passed?_

That's where this fanfic comes to play.

**Please enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter one:  
A Show has its Prices  
**_Lies_ are _Sins_. But _Lies_ are _Entertainment_.

There is no God.

Izaya knew that.

To him, it was all just rubbish humans came up with. The proof to his existence has never been proved, so the informant had no reason to believe. He walked down the noisy streets of Ikebukuro, his head held high but his heart hanging by a tread. As he walked, he kept his hoodie on his head and his hands in his pockets.

Many people who walked by looked at Izaya in suspicion; skepticism written all over their face as they walked past. Izaya didn't mind though; he didn't care what light he was viewed in by other people.

Unlike his secretary Namie who feels the need to build her looks and reputation. Izaya snickered lightly at this and sighed. He had a reputation but a bad one; hated by everyone and at times lonely. Ever since grade school, his reputation has been like that. But he had better things to worry about; such as his grades, and being a model student.

He looked around as he entered the tallest building in Ikebukuro. He snuck around to the stairwell; making sure not to be seen by anyone. He didn't need his plans to be interrupted.

The rain haired male ran up the many flights of stairs, two steps at a time. He hand held on the item in his coat pocket. He walked in darkness with dim lights, but now, as he opened the door, he was greeted by a radiant sunset.

The sun was setting slowly, that's what he needed. To watch his shadow slowly drift away as he lied in agonizing pain. He walked out but still hide in the shadows. "Shizu-chan...?" Izaya mumbled. He noticed his "Shizu-chan" leaning on the ledge that divided the bartender and the concrete below.

The bartender's fist clenched hearing the informant's voice. He then slammed them down win annoyance.

"What the hell do you want?!" He turned to see Izaya, crimson eyes glowing through the darkness of the shadows. Izaya felt cold metal; metal that mocked him.  
"Nothing," Izaya lied. "It's just that I didn't expect to see you up here."

"Quit lying Izaya." Shizuo took his cigarette from his mouth.

Izaya's red eyes watched as it fell to the ground and quickly being turned to ash by the bartender's shoe. His eyes quickly adverted up. "No, I'm not lying. There's just something I have to do, something I have to prove to myself..." Izaya smiled lightly and took off his hoodie.

He stepped out from the shadows so Shizuo could have a better view of him.

Shizuo stayed quiet and listened to the raven.

"It's been something that's been...haunting me. All my life I've been wanting to know but I've been so scared to try..." A tear rolled down the side of Izaya's face as he gripped the metal object tighter.

"Izay-"

"I can't go on not knowing the answer." Izaya's knees became weak and heavy, so he dropped to his knees and sank down in tears. "...I must know if there's a God." He pulled a fair sized knife from his pocket and held it to the side of his neck.

His starting point. "What the hell are you doing Izaya?!" Shizuo felt his heart skip a beat.

What was running through the informants head? "I have to know Shizuo! I hate this! Why should I keep on going?..." Shizuo listened to his voice die down. "What else do I have to live for?"

Before Shizuo knew it, the knife slit long lines around Izaya's neck. One...two...three...four...five, six, seven eight nine... gashes around his neck until you could see inside. Tears filled his face for the painful stringing the blade caused. His clear tears mixed in with blood.

A smile came to Izaya's face. It wasn't sinister. It wasn't mischievous. It wasn't manipulative...but...happy. Happy to finally meet the person who created all his lovely humans. Finally to meet the person everyone seems to adore. But this smile wasn't a smile Shizuo ever caught a glimps of...it was much more rare.

Seeing that smile, Shizuo felt a bad stir in his stomach, a nauseating one.

Izaya's lively crimson eyes died out, quickly darkening as they slowly slipped to their end. Shizuo watched in amazement. No...not amazement; something much worse: fear. Something he's never felt. Something he never wanted to experience. He looked down at Izaya; blood turning into a large pool of lost life.

"Iz-zay-a..." Shizuo's voice cracked.

...

Izaya fell back against the concrete, knocking his head against it. To Shizuo, the world seemed to die down. Time ticked on backwards, noise was faint and light, the world slipped into monochrome. The knife made a hazy, long echo as it hit the ground. "...Izaya!" Shizuo yelled.

Izaya's vision was blurry as he watched Shizuo run towards his aid. Izaya blinked once when Shizuo came face to face to him. "Izaya! What the hell?! What's wrong with you?!" The words were slurred, but Izaya managed. "W-wow Shizuo..." Izaya choked out bitterly. He coughed up blood and looked deep into Shizuo's eyes.  
He closed his eyes and willed himself to talk.

"...Even in time of my death...you're still so cruel."

Those words stung Shizuo. He knew that maybe..just maybe for the first time Izaya might have been right.

He _is_ cruel.

* * *

Izaya opened his eyes to brilliant brightness. _Could this be...?_

Izaya stood up and looked around. "Hello?" His voice carried though out the bright room. "Orihara Izaya, I welcome you to Heaven." A broad, lively, powerful voice said. Izaya's once confused look turned to a mischievous smirk. " Ah, I see.." Izaya said scornfully, "This is _Heaven_ and you're supposed to be _God_"

"...You are correct. You seem to have disbelief in my existence."

"Why yes, God. Even now to this point I do."

"Hm...you said that with much confidence installed in your voice."

"Because what I'm stating now is the truth." Izaya smirk widened. "Isn't your reason to your suicide is to figure out my existence?"

"That's right. But that was simply foolish of me." God looked down upon Izaya. "You know Orihara, I should banish you from my sight and have you parish in Hell for taking your own life. It wasn't your time yet and you knew that."

"I'm well aware of that. And to me, I already knew I was going to Hell." Izaya coldly stated. "...You put on quite a performance down there."

"Pretty good, _wasn't it_?" Izaya said sarcastically. "You're selfish. You should be thankful every once and a while. I'm the reason for your existence." Izaya's smirk died and his eyes narrowed down. "..._I'm sorry_. But I don't think I'll be thanking _you _anytime soon." Izaya's voice darkened a few tones.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes. I don't feel any need to. There hasn't been anything in my life for me to repent for and nothing for me to be grateful for."

"..." God stayed silent, looking down upon Izaya. "What about your soul are you grateful for that?"

"Not the least bit."

"...Tell me Izaya, what was your real purpose of meeting me?"

"I honestly wanted to see if you were real. Back down on Earth, I feel as if I Am God. They're all my precious humans. I love them. I love them all expect the exception of one."

"Who would that be?"

"Shizuo Hewajima."

"What about the last words you told him? About him being cruel?"

"..." What game is God playing? Izaya asked himself. "I meant it. All the years we've been fighting. I thought in time of my death he'd see me in a better light."

"You're not lying..you know lying is a sin. So explain why you did so on Earth."

"It was all entertainment; lies are entertainment. That's the key to life-"

"You're wrong." God interrupted. his voice got strict.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for interrupting you. But you're wrong. Lies aren't the key to life; they're the key to chaos. That's the reason why lies are sins."

"That's why I lie. To succeed chaos. To wake Celty's sleeping head."

"You may believe chaos is the answer but you're wrong..." God thought for a minuet.

"So what's my punishment? Eternity in Hell?" Izaya mocked. God was angered by Izaya's mocking, acting as if this whole thing was a joke.  
"No." Izaya flinched back surprised.

"Your punishment isn't banishment. But something that'll you'll pay for." Izaya listened carefully and narrowed his eyes.

"You don't seem to realize the true meaning of life. Izaya Orihara, you _shall _repay your debts."

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**A/N: Alright, so the first chapter's done! The second should be up sometime soon. Review! Tell me what you think! Please be completely honest! Should I continue? Are the characters in character? (I don't really think so. If they're not, please leave a review or two on how I could keep them in character!) Anyways, I'm not gonna stay long!**

Thanks! ~NEonNeiiKO XokO


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